It was my mom who first said those words to me, 'old age ain't for sissies', and she attributed them to one of her favourite movie stars, Bette Davis. I've looked up the quote since and it does vary: sometimes it's as I've written here, other times it is 'old age ain't no place for sissies'. However you wish to interpret it, the message is pretty clear, I reckon.
I took this picture of myself this morning and it's not very flattering I have to say, however it is me in all my aging glory, and I use the word 'glory' because I do want to be kind to myself. I could say my aging 'dilapidation' but I try, most days, to appraise myself in an empathetic light. It's cold here in Auckland, New Zealand this morning, hence the warm hat and coat.
I think we all fear getting old, and when I was a young kid, I couldn't imagine looking as old as some of the people I saw. I suppose that's nature's way of protecting us with the brashness and innocence of youth: it's best if you don't know what's in store, and can make the most of the youth and vitality while you have it.
I also thought I would not adjust to getting old, I would rail against it, raise my fists in anger and desperation, but it hasn't all been that way. True, there are days when I bemoan the loss of energy and strength, really do feel the arthritis in my hands on cold days like this one, can never get warm despite the hat, fleece jacket, and three clothing layers (and I am inside the house ...), and the list goes on, but there really was a time when I believed I might not see old years.
That was after my first diagnosis of breast cancer at the age of 45 when, for a time, the thought of living to be 60, or even 55, was not on my radar, so I often look at old age with gratitude. I am glad to still be here.
Mid-winter ain't for sissies either, truth be told. The days are short, the nights long and dark and cold, my neighbour's cat Miss Poppy has discovered the delight of my wood burner and she and I warm our bones together most evenings, the only difference being when it's time for bed, she goes out and I stay in.
But then she's young and has a nice fur coat.